A Story of Love, Faith, Courage, and Commitment
Song of Solomon 2:1-4
"I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters. As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love."
Monday, 12 April 2010, is a day that neither I nor any member of my family will soon forget.
The day began as any ordinary day. I was on vacation in Utah at the time and was staying at the home of some dear friends in Cache Valley. I arose from my slumber that particular morning, thanked the Lord for another day, showered, got dressed, and prepared for the events of the day. In various other locations family members were also busy about attending to the matters of the day. None of us could have possibly known nor even imagined the life changing events that would take place in just a matter of a few short hours of that day's beginning.
I had breakfast that morning with my hosts and then we headed out the door to go do some things. As we were returning to their house around noon, I received a telephone call from my brother-in-law in Virginia. There was a certain sense of anxiousness, frustration, and urgency in his voice. He had called to report that the life of the older of my two sisters, his wife of 19 years, and the mother of their 11-year-old son, was hanging in the balances at that moment.
My sister had gone to the doctor's office that morning for a supposedly routine medical procedure and during the course of that procedure suffered major complications which caused her respiratory system to crash. Also, in the mix of all of that, she suffered oxygen deprivation. She was medevac’d to a nearby hospital and at that time was only breathing two to three breaths per minute on her own. The voice on the other end of the telephone was frantically pleading for me to get to the hospital as quickly as possible, but my sister was in Fairfax Virginia and I was in Logan Utah. There was virtually no way that I could get there to be at her side anytime soon.
I had just spoken to my sister Sharon the Saturday prior to all of this. She sounded tired and maybe even a little concerned about something - perhaps about the upcoming procedure, her unemployment situation, her family, or any number of other things - but I never gave it much thought. We talked for a few minutes and she ended the conversation by telling me that she would call me the following week. How could I have possibly known that the telephone call conversation that we had would possibly be our last?
Upon receiving the report from my brother-in-law my heart literally sank and my mind began to race as anyone's probably would after receiving such news about a loved one. I began asking myself questions such as, "Why?", "How?", and "What next?" I began wondering if I would see my sister whom I love dearly alive, or would she be gone by the time I reached home again. I must admit that for at least that particular moment in time, even though I was in the company and comfort of my friends, I felt totally alone and helpless.
Upon arriving back at my friends’ home I immediately called the younger of my two sisters who lives on the Eastern Shore of Maryland to inform her of what had happened. At the same time one of my friends looked for the telephone numbers for the Logan and Salt Lake Temples so that I could call to have my sister and her family’s names put on the prayer roll. Even though I could not physically be at my sister’s side at that moment, there was one thing that I could do and that was to call out to my Heavenly Father in earnest prayer and to call upon my family members to do the same.
When I spoke to my younger sister about what had happened she too was shocked to hear the news as she had also just spoken to our sister the Saturday before. I asked her for telephone numbers of other family members to contact and before long the family call tree and prayer circle were in motion. Though we may have our differences as far as religious beliefs, there is a common ground upon which we all can always meet and that is in the understanding of the power of fervent and earnest prayer.
As I was contacting the Temples and various family members, my brother-in-law who is a pastor, in the midst of all that was happening at a tremendously rapid pace, was also making telephone calls to ask people to join with our family in prayer for our loved one’s wellbeing. The response to our calls was amazing. Once the word was out, people who know our family, of all faiths and denominations, began to make telephone calls of their own to spread the word that a dear loved one was in trouble and desperately needed the prayers of everyone. By the time all was said and done, the call for immediate prayer had reached as far as some local churches in Africa.
I was indeed concerned about my sister and how things would turn out, but as I began to commune with the Lord in earnest prayer about the situation, there was a quite peace and assurance that came over me to remind me that “. . . all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Neither I nor my family may have understood why all of this had happened, but one thing is for sure and that is God always has a purpose and a plan for all things that happen in our lives. Because of that calm assurance I was able to continue throughout the day and rest peacefully that night knowing that God had the situation totally in His control.
The next morning I received a telephone call from my older brother informing me that the doctors did not give our sister much hope of surviving. Her breathing was being totally controlled and regulated by a ventilator, she had a feeding tube in place, and she was not responding to anyone or anything. The doctors’ report was that she would be in a vegetative state for the remainder of her life. They also reported that we could expect her to be on the ventilator for at least 6 months or longer and they were strongly encouraging my brother-in-law to pull the plug and end it all. That was the doctors’ report and diagnosis, but Jesus who is the Master Physician said otherwise.
How grateful I am that my brother-in-law was willing to listen to the whispering of the Holy Spirit to not follow the counsel of the doctors, but to continue to fast and pray and know that the Lord would take care of it all. He would not sign the necessary papers and indeed told the doctors that nothing would be done without first making this a matter of sincere fasting and prayer.
In the midst of all of this, the next day, Wednesday, 14 April 2010, I was scheduled to teach Seminary classes at the local High School in Logan. Now, some may read this and say that if I truly love my sister as I say why I didn’t just pack up and head home to be at her side. That thought did cross my mind at first but then I thought about what my sister would want me to do in this case. Would she want me to put everything on hold and rush home to spend every waking hour at her side, or would she want me to, and expect me to continue on with the tasks at hand? In my heart I knew that my sister would want me to continue on and do the work of the ministry that I had come to Utah to do. By so doing, I was indeed honoring her desires for me and showing my love for her. And so, I pressed forward with the calm assurance that I was doing not only what my sister would want me to do, but more importantly, I was doing what the Lord would have me do at that time. I had only expected to teach two or three classes that day, but was blessed to teach 5 Seminary classes that day and shared with each class my faith and testimony of the Truthfulness and Divinity of the Restored Gospel. I was also blessed to share my testimony of the power of prayer.
I remained in Utah until the weekend and then headed back home to Maryland. As soon as I was able I went to the hospital to see my sister. When I walked into her hospital room my heart once again sank as my physical eyes beheld all of the machines and things that she was hooked up to in order to sustain her life. Again, for a brief moment in time, I felt helpless and so all alone. If only I could somehow take the pain and suffering for her. If only I could turn back the hands of time to just a few short days prior to all of this happening, then everything would be alright. It was at that moment that the Lord reminded me that my focus was not in the right place. I was more concerned with what I was seeing with my physical eyes, and not looking at the situation from an eternal perspective. I was reminded that though it appeared that machines were sustaining my sister’s life, the real truth of the matter is that it was the Lord, the giver and sustainer of life that was keeping her. I was then reminded of the atonement of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Two thousand years ago a loving Savior saw that we were broken and hurting and in dire need of healing. He knew that there was nothing that we could do of our own accord to make ourselves whole again. Because of His TREMENDOUS love for us, His children, He did not want us to suffer in pain and agony, and so he took all of our sicknesses, pain, sorrow, and even our death sentence upon Himself. He became broken and spilled out – the healing balm of Gilead – that would make us whole again.
I sincerely believe that it has been nothing short of obedience to the will of the Lord, fasting and earnest prayer, and the tender mercies of the Lord that has allowed my sister to still be with us at this moment. Because of my family’s faithfulness, we have been blessed to see slow and steady progress in the improvement of my sister’s condition. Instead of 6 months on the ventilator she only spent 2 and is now breathing fine on her own. Her expected hospital stay was much shorter than doctors had anticipated. She is now in a skilled nursing home in Arlington Virginia going through and responding to extensive daily therapy. We know that she is aware of the love that surrounds her and the continued prayers that are offered daily on her behalf.
Some may look at an incident such as this as a major setback in life. Some, having to face these trials and adversities, may have thrown up their hands and given up. But I am reminded of my sister’s own words that she wrote in one of her last emails before all of this occurred. She wrote, “Some have told us to give up. I said “GIVE UP ON WHAT, GOD? My question to them was, did God give up on you? He did not have to carry His cross, be nailed to it, whipped all night long, pierced in His side, made a joke of, and die for your sins or my sins. Giving up is not an OPTION.” To her words I add a hardy AMEN! Giving up for neither me nor any of my family is an option. The Lord has brought our loved one and all of us too far to leave us now. He has never given up on us and we are not about to give up on him. We are indeed humbled by the continual outpouring of His love, grace, and mercy for all of us. We are indeed blessed for we know that His banner over us is love.
