I am sorry - three little words - eight letters - and yet one of the most difficult things for some people to say. Perhaps it is the word “sorry” that some people seem to have so much trouble with, for as Sir Elton John, the singer/songwriter says in his song, sorry seems to be the hardest word. I might add to that thought that saying “I am sorry” is not as difficult as it may seem, but rather, it is saying “I am sorry” and meaning it.
How many times have we had someone come to us and say that they were sorry for some wrong that they had done against us only to sense as they walk away that there was absolutely no sincerity in their words? Even though their back is turned towards us as they walk away, it is almost as if you can see the smirk on their face and read their thoughts that they are only waiting for the next opportunity to do something else. How many times have we been found guilty of such actions ourselves?
I have witnessed on several occasions the behavior of my now 12-year-old nephew and the way that he sometimes treats his mother. In his young age he has learned what “buttons” to push to get his mother upset. When he notices that she is not happy with what he has done he is quick to run to her and say “I am sorry” while grinning and laughing the whole time. He would wait until he thought that things had cooled down and then he would try pushing more “buttons”. One day his mother grew tired of playing the little game and said to him, “Please don’t tell me you are sorry again until you really mean it”. Now, someone will say that his mother (my sister) was really being harsh. I beg to differ. What she was doing was teaching him a very valuable lesson on how we should treat others, and when we have done something wrong to hurt or offend them, we need to be sincere in our apology. This is perhaps a valuable lesson that many of us as adults need to learn as well.
If we continually go to people and say “I am sorry” for the things that we have done wrong, yet we have no real feelings of remorse, than the words that we say become nothing more than vain repetition - they are void and meaningless. In essence all we have done is put a temporary band-aid on a fresh wound to help stop the bleeding and to help keep the germs out which could cause infection. We may have applied the band-aid, but we never took the time to clean the wound or to apply any type of medicine to the wound to help in the healing process. Sooner or later that band-aid will need to be removed to clean and re-dress the wound. When that happens the wound is exposed to the open air and the original pain that was felt can possibly commence again. Merely saying the three little words “I am sorry” without truly meaning what we say, is not a cure all to make all wounds whole again. Anyone can say “I am sorry”, but how many really mean that they are sorry? It is when we say “I am sorry”, and sincerely mean what we say, that the wounds that were inflicted are cleansed, medicine is applied, there is less chance of any infection, and the healing process is begun.